Black Vortex Of Negative Energy Suckitude

It's Complicated

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:28:24 GMT

I haven't posted in weeks, school has kept me so busy. But I've come across a huge change for awhile now.

I'm actually thinking of changing majors, well not being a music major anymore. Being a music major is one of the hardest majors you can get. You don't understand how much work and time you have to put into it unless you've been in it. It's especially a lot different when going from having a choir class and a voice lesson once a week, to having all classes based around music. It's a lot of hard work and it's wearing me out. It makes me sad, because I love music. But I feel this is too much for me. I feel that I loved music because it was an outlet, but having music 24/7 is just making me stressed, I'm not motivated to practice for a few classes, I'm behind on how well I should be doing and don't understand some things and there are so many concerts and recitals you have to attend to late at night making me stay up at school even later some nights. I love music, but I feel like it's more of a hobby. It hurts me to say that, but I don't feel I should be a music major.

I love what music therapy does and how it helps, but it's not the only way to help people. I could be a counselor or therapist. I feel like I want to help people because I want to feel useful, but then I wonder if that is my passion or if I want a career involving that? I don't know what my true passion is. I have things I like, but I don't know if I was truly ever passionate about anything besides music. I don't know if I'll continue with music therapy or if I'll go to community college next semester and take some basics and maybe a gaming class. If I do go to TCC to do that, I could try out for the choir. The thing I wonder though or think I might regret, would be leaving TWU and the friends I've made there. They're there for me and it really made me happy that they care. But I always have that doubt that if they truly like me. Why do I always have to think so negatively about these things? I always have to question things and it ends up making me cry or want to. If I was to leave I would keep in touch with them hopefully and talk to them on facebook or through text maybe. I honestly can't make up my mind though. I don't know what i want and I've always questioned my actions or if I mean it. It makes me really hate myself sometimes about my negative attitude and how I think. I want to be more positive, but everything I do I wonder if I'm doing whats right. I don't know what I want to do, but I want to find out.

I know these thoughts are all jumbled up and out of order, but these are just what's coming from me at the moment. But I feel like I would be left behind from the friends I've made at TWU and I were to leave them I would feel sad. i feel like crying right now. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel fine about the leaving music part and joining a choir in school, but the leaving the school part is really getting to me. I don't know what I want to do so it's best for me to leave for awhile and do some basics at TCC for a lot cheaper than at a university. I just hope to be able to still talk to Shelby, Sara and Kelly. They're the main friends of mine there and then there are other people who support me, but those are the three that really stick out. But I don't want to stay a music major if I don't want to be one anymore just because of the people, but I want to still be with them. It's breaking my heart and I wish I wasn't such a crybaby lately, but this is really stressing me out. I don't know if I've felt this strongly for some friends in real life. I'm able to tell them how I'm feeling and they're trying to bring out the confidence in me and that I shouldn't worry what people think of me.

I've just now talked with my mom and she was saying I don't have to go to TCC if I want to stay with my friends, but i do feel like I would be out of the loop since I wouldn't be a music major. But I like TWU, so staying there for a bit longer might be fun. I'll just have to figure these things out. Sorry about that guys I just really needed to get that out of my system. I always have those wondering thoughts where I always think of things and then become negative about them. I'll try to make a post sooner next time!

Riley Won't Come Inside

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:20:16 GMT

So my computer got up and running around the second week of school, just finished the fourth week of school. I had to restart the whole thing, but that didn't stop me from saving some stuff like my music and pictures. I had to download all the programs I lost and such and that was a pain but I have just about everything back, besides some anime.

School has been awful. Some classes I like and enjoy going to, but other classes I just don't understand and have lots of work in. If I was to ever meet a person who said music isn't hard. I will hurt them. Music is VERY hard. It's like another language. So much stuff you have to focus on in a song if you want to get it perfect. Not to mention Keyboard hasn't been doing too well and I really need to start practicing more and making sure I know what I'm doing. The guy doesn't like me, I can tell. I think he doesn't, anyway. He always has to mention my name and help me in class. He acts kind of superior like he's in a league of his own. It really ticks me off. He can be funny at times but he's just. I dunno. Anyway that class isn't so well and I have a test in there next Wed and I hope I do well. Music Theory is another class that I don't like. I just don't get a lot of the things in there. I'm doing well on quizzes and such which is good but just other things are just weird like the homework. Aural Skills I have a test on Wed also and I hope I do well in that, too. I don't get everything in that class either but know rhythm pretty well. And Voice class is so much harder than what I took in middle and high school. i have to learn SIX songs in ONE semester. That's a lot more than I ever learned for a voice class by myself. I would learn, like, 2-3 songs in an entire school year, so this is blowing my mind. I just have to learn the songs and get them done.

I've had a few meltdowns too and my music buddies would help and reassure me. I was even thinking about changing my major because music was so hard, but they helped me and so I'm sticking with it. I'm glad to have made some friends, but it's just stressful because I'm not living on campus like them so i feel kinda alone even though I have friends. It's harder for me to get help from them and hang out because I'm a commuter. I'm actually thinking about living on campus next semester. Though I would feel sad if I was to not live at home anymore. I love my family very much and being away from them would make me very sad. It makes me feel like I wouldn't be apart of my family anymore either. I get along with them and just being away from Mom would break my heart. So I'm really torn. Not to mention mom is paying my tuition and everything. If I was to live on campus, that would just cost more. I don't know if I want to do that to her anymore than I already am. But if it is for me to succeed in college and connect with people, I feel like I have to.

I've been trying to get into some of the emulator stuff and play games I haven't played or want to play. Chrono Cross will have to wait until christmas break though, cause I don't want to get wrapped up in it during school. I need to focus. Other problems is I want to play japanese games on the emulators thing is: I don't know japanese. I know a few words and stuff from anime, but if I was to watch a show I knew nothing about, it would be hard for me to understand what was going on and such. And these games have kanji and I definitely don't understand that. So I want to start to learn japanese. Because I reeeeeally wanna play the Higurashi doujin games and nerd out and play japanese games and be like "Ohohoho I understand what they're saying~". Yes, I'm a nerd. I just think it would be cool to learn a language I have interest in and it would be useful for my nerd-ish ways. I must find programs and such to learn but don't know which one to pick.

I was able to finish my MEP entry for the SE Love MEP thing someone asked me to join on youtube. I'm pretty happy with it, besides one part where I feel I just made the scene a bit weird. I'll probably add it to my own youtube account too for people to see.

So my aunt and uncle are going away on a day trip and asked me to take care of Riley. Riley used to be our dog but because he would be such a brat and would want all the attention from our other pets, we gave him Aunt Suz and Uncle Steve once Marty died, their dog. He's doing a lot better with them now since he has all their attention on only him. He's still strange as ever and it's fun hearing the stories and adventures he's had from Aunt Suz. So anyway, I'm babysitting Ri-Ro and I let him out and he hasn't come back inside the house. It's been about an hour. He's so weird and stays out like that for along time a lot. I wish he would just come in, though. But I brought my laptop over and can't access to the internet so I can't get on and do everything on my laptop which really sucks. I'm just using Uncle Steve's laptop and if i download anything, I'll transfer it with my memory stick. Still wish my internet would work. :/ But because of it, I brought lots of stuff for school over so I ~~should~~ could practice.

That's about everything I can think of. I'll try to make more posts from now on.

Laptop Problems

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:30:37 GMT

I left my laptop on and open when I left. So I got home yesterday and saw my laptop with a blue screen. I thought Summer might have stepped on it trying to get to her food. I turn it off and turn it back on and it's still having problems. I've looked at it and tried to get it to start-p, but I just can't. I'm typing on a computer at school right now so I don't have any of my programs and such. I'm sorry Juu, I said I was gonna get on last night to talk to you but I couldn't. I'm going to try to fix it when I get home, but I feel like I've tried everything.

In other news, Mom and Dad are in Alaska for their 25th anniversary. They left yesterday and will be back by Tuesday. I'm left to take care of the dogs and take them on their daily walks and such. Layla is crazy about keeping her schedule and always lets us know when they should get their walks and greenies.

In school news, classes are going well. I was really stressed out on Monday but I feel a lot better. I just have to start up a daily schedule for homework and everything and stay on track.

I'll try to fix my comp tonight and chat on msn. Love you guys. <3

Break

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:08:39 GMT

I kinda broke down last night when I thought I wasn't understanding my keyboard stuff from my book. I have the teacher I auditioned for and he kinda intimidates me. However, I found out today I'm not the only one intimidated by him. It made me feel better. I just need to focus on keyboard and Aural Skills and all my other classes. I wanna succeed.

So I'm just saying this now, but I think I'm gonna be on the computer less now. I'll check up and look at my LJ everyday, though. But I won't be on msn to talk a lot now because of college. I need to focus on my stuff and practice and work hard for this. I wanna do well and I don't want to fail. I'll be on more during the weekends, though, unless I get that job.

I love you guys and please comment on my LJ posts (if I talk to you on msn especially), so I can talk to you in some form during the week. <3

School Starting

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:11:48 GMT

The big day is tomorrow. My first day of college! But first let me explain all that has happened lately.

So I had Pioneer Camp for the past few days. I met 3 other music therapy majors in my purple group and we're all probably gonna have about the same classes. So I'm excited and ready to take on my classes, even if they are only music/therapy classes. I wrote my schedule down in a simpler way so that I could read it in order:

Mon, Wed

Music Theory I 11:00am - 12:20pm MUS 203
Concert Choir 12:30pm - 1:20pm MUS 317
Obs Meas In Mus 2:30pm - 3:20 pm ASB 203
Keybd MU I 3:30pm - 4:20pm MUS 220

Tues, Thur

Intro MUS TH 8:30am - 9:20am ASB 203
Aural Skills I 11:00am - 11:50am MUS 304
Concert Choir 12:30pm - 1:20pm MUS 317

Tues Only
Contemp Learn 6:00pm - 7:20pm ASB 305

The Tuesday Only class was the one I have to take cause I didn't make a high enough score on the ACT. I'll only have to go to it for this semester and then its done. I just have to stay really late for those days. I also need to order my books for the certain days. I'll be taking my laptop with me everyday, I think. I'll set up in the Commuter's Lounge in the Stdent Union or go do things on campus when I have time to kill. I'm going to try to get involved in things though, too. Apparently commuter's or more likely to not be involved in things and miss out on college things and feel separate. I might join a sorority or something. Do something, you know.

At Pioneer Camp, I had fun activities and such. I took some pictures around a few of the buildings there. I know my way around there pretty well. Things are close to each other so its not too hard to walk around. I'll post the pictures up sometime soon.

The auditions I took on Friday. Hahahahaha. Yeeeeah. When I went in for my keyboard placement and he asked me to do a chord and I was like "........" so I was put into Keybd I, which I don't mind. It was just the fact that I made myself look really stupid, as always. And I got really nervous in my voice placement auditions. They could tell, too. But they were nice about it. I'm going to be a Sop II this time instead of Sop I. I understand that and thought I would be placed there, also. I don't feel bad about that because I know I get nervous singing high when I sing solo. I had to fill out a form with my schedule and such but didn't have my schedule on me. I went upstairs and they have a piano and computer lab. A PIANO LAB. I was like kicdhunfsahnoisz THAT'S SO COOL. It was a room with lots of keyboards and they had a few computers there, too. That's going to be the room for my keyboard class, I'm pretty sure.

Other things not school related. There is still hope for the job at Gamestop! The reason they haven't called for an interview is because they haven't started their hiring yet even. I called yesterday to ask, cause Ian told me you have to call them to ask about interest and stuff to get a job. I didn't know that and it freaked me out. I was nervous that's why they hadn't called. But it's fine! So I'm happy. Cause I really want that job.

On youtube, I make amvs, and someone asked me to do a Soul Eater Love MEP thing with them. If you don't know what a MEP is, it's basically a short amv(30-50 secs long) that you make and are put into one amv with lots of other artists into one video that play the meps one after another. It was my first time being asked to do it, so I was excited and accepted. I was like OMG I'LL DO BLACK*STARxTSUBAKI! I can't help my love for them, they're just too damn cute. I chose to do a verse from She Is The Sunlight by Trading Yesterday. That song is so sweet and mellow, I love it. When the one who asked me to be part of the MEP replied back, she was so excited that I was also doing B*SxT because everyone else is doing SoulxMaka. Don't get me wrong, I love them too. But B*SxT has far less amvs and I just have a real soft spot for them. So I've been working on that for the past few days. It's going well. I'm having a hard time which verse to do, though. I like the second verse more, but the first verse has a lot of video work done on it. Oh well, it's due at the end of the month, I have time to do both and then choose.

Not to mention, The SE anime is getting a special epilogue episode! I'm so excited cause I don't care how the anime ended. I LIKE IT. SO I'm waiting for the subbed and such. Though we've had no news of it since then. The anime is also slowly releasing the cast for the dub. I'm so excited just cause I hope Adult Swim puts it on and I can watch it weekly. I don't care if it sucks, I'll watch it cause I love it that much. Also, merchandise. Everything being brought over here. I'm excited.

And last but not least. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUUBY JUDY~ <33333 *loves and hugs* :3

OH GEEZ

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:24:54 GMT

So I finally got the email from Soojeong Lee, the DMA & Coordinator of Vocal Studies @ TWU. Which means my vocal audition date has been decided. It'll be on August 28 at 10:44 AM and I'm SO EFFING NERVOUS. HVBCUJDHGSVXL I have hardly practiced singing and I have to do two songs. I'm guessing I'll do the two songs I sang when I auditioned for the scholarship. Gah, I wish I didn't have to audition. I'm so nervous when it comes to judging me singing. That just puts pressure on me. Pressure + Me = EXPLOSION.

I'll have to change the time anyway though probably because my keyboard assessment is at 10:50 that day and the voice audition should take 8 minutes. Still this is freaking me out anyway. I wonder why I'm even choosing a career in music if I get so nervous about performing. *sighs*

Update On My Boring Summer

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:28:32 GMT

I wish my life was more interesting to write about at the moment because I haven't made a post in weeks. D8 Sure it has some good things going for it, but it's been so uneventful. My fault, I guess.

So I've now had all 4 wisdom teeth removed. I remember it hurting so bad when I woke up from my nap 3 weeks ago. THE PAAAAAAAAAIN. Oh why did the numb have to wear off? Pain pills were my friends. And I had the other side taken care of last Thursday. Though this time was a lot worse than the first. The pain lasted longer. Not to mention me being awake for this one. I felt the pressure when they were pushing my tooth. They could tell I was scared and they gave me some another numb shot. Guh, it makes me cringe thinking about the pressure. It also feels bad while I chew and will randomly hurt out of nowhere. I hope it goes away soon, though. It still hurts to open my mouth real wide. Just hope for it to go away, I guess.

So I've had piano lessons a few times this month. I also had one today. Next week will be my last piano lesson with Mrs. Himes because I'll be doing keyboard in college, as part of my course and tuition. It makes me kind of sad, since I liked her. She'll do fine though with the other students she has for voice lessons and piano. I wish her the best.

So I have needed to find a part to my USB cable for my camera to upload my pictures and videos. Never found it. So I looked it up yesterday where I can find a new one and saw that a memory card reader would be a lot cheaper. So the Best Buy near us and bought one. It has a slot in there that you put the memory card of your camera and then plug it into the computer. So now I can upload pictures on facebook and show videos again~

So I've decided since I've been so bored lately, I need to do something productive. I want a job. More money and time will fly by. Of course, school will be starting up so I won't be working too much. But I can still work. So after I went to get my memory card reader, I went to a GameStop close to our house. I was nervous to just go up and ask if they were hiring and not buying something. So I bought Little Big Planet. It's not like I didn't want to play the game. So I asked if they were hiring. He said they'll be getting a new manager next week and that they will be hiring then also. So I have hope!

And today, since 5/9 of my books for school were ready, Mom told me to drive up there and get them. I was so nervous thinking about me driving up there alone. On the highway. But with my handy-dandy GPS, ANYTHING is possible! So the drive wasn't all that bad. I always drive better without the pressure of Mom and Dad telling me to watch out and stuff. It always makes me drive better. I got my books, though I was awkward about asking, and was on my way back home. I haven't looked at my books yet, but I will soon!

The next things' coming up is Pioneer Camp Aug 26th-29th and then school starts on the 31st. I'm really nervous and excited, though.

T-DUB!

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:31:53 GMT

YOU KNOW!

Sorry that's a TWU cheer. :3

So I had my orientation yesterday and today. Had to wake up at 5:30 to shower and get ready. Get everything and go. Mom was with me and such to help me out, but she did do a lot of work. Makes me feel bad always needing her help with things like this. We got there around 7:10 and signed in and got all sorts of goodies and our name tags and such. They spelled my last name wrong. I'm not sure how it happened if it was just a mistake or I wrote something wrong or what. But instead of Varley it was Varney. It was funny cause usually it's my first name that is always spelled wrong.

Anyway we got hand outs and then groups split up to tour after people had checked into their rooms. The campus isn't huge, so it's not so bad walking, but it's still a lot of walking, stair-climbing and burning hot sun. It was so hot, around 104 degrees by the afternoon. There is a commuter's parking lots RIGHT by the music building, so I can easily park there everyday if I get there at a good time. Then I took my placement test around 9. I did well on it. It was stuff I understood, but of course I would mess up on some stuff. I got my student ID after the test. I hate the picture, but it's whatev. We then had an Organization Fair, about organizations and sororities and such. I don't know but I'm thinking about joining a sorority. The only one I talked to though was Sigma Sigma Sigma. I liked them they sounded nice. They have about 40 members and have a few music therapy majors also. I was also interested in a Helping Hands program where they email you events and you just show up and help out. After the Org Fair, we went to certain classes of our choices from a list to listen to speeches and such. We did two of them and afterwords was lunch.

After lunch was a meeting about getting joining a Living Learning Community. It's where you all hang out and help each other with studying and such. You're actually in a lot of each other's classes. I'm not gonna join it because I'm mainly taking all music courses this year and I'm a commuter. So can't help with core classes. Then the commuters went to a room to talk about commuting and such. After that, we did more rotating sessions. After an hour we had our Advising Success talk. University 101, one of the classes I'm having to take because of my SAT scores, is kinda what it's about. The whole transition from high school to college. After that was the college meetings. The people divided in the four colleges went into their groups and went to different rooms to meet our Dean and learn about our college. The difference between college and university is a university is full of colleges, a college being a certain major group. There are four colleges at TWU: Arts and Sciences, Professional Education, Health Sciences and Nursing. I'm in the College of Arts and Sciences. Our Dean seems nice and I like her, very artsy.

After the college meetings was our Color Group Meetings. Each certain subject had different colors. I was purple for the 'Arts'. Purple Group is always the smallest group. There was only about 12 people in our group. Of course this orientation was just 20% of the new freshman. Anyway we hung out and talked about each other and played an ice breaker. One where you tape a movie on your back, that you haven't looked at, and ask questions to people to try to figure out what it was. I didn't know what questions to ask and never found out. Mine was Star Trek. Then we had dinner. They had cornbread muffins. I was like HBIJBGVKUGF BIKGB and they were so good! I love cornbread. :D After that was another color meeting. We ended up making videos of our groups. We didn't know what we were going to do, but then our OL(Orientation Leaders) went and got us gorilla and banana suits. We did the macarena and panned us and then you see the monkey out of nowhere then the banana runs by and the monkey chases after it. It was original and I liked ours. They were going to be presented in a video at lunch the next day. Then we had a game show thing called Survey Says, which is basically like Family Feud. This guy goes around and does this little game show to TWU alot for orientations. Anyway it was fun and he handed out a lot of free money. I didn't get any, though.
I also met my roommate when I went back to my room. She was nice, I believe it was spelled as Jacklyn. She was majoring in nursing and was from San Antonio. I went to sleep soon after getting ready for bed. I was so tired from all the walking we did that day. The heat didn't help at all.

I woke up at 6 to shower and get ready. Brought my backpack to Mom's car around 6:45 so that I wouldn't have to go back to my room. Had breakfast which was really good too. Fruit, pancakes, sausage, cereal. After breakfast I had academic advising right away because of music. I think me and another girl were the only music majors there. Long story short for the most of the day was all about scheduling and making a list for your classes which after lunch we would register finally. We were having trouble with fitting in some classes and such. I will be taking 8 classes, 7 of them being music and the other being University 101. And we did about nothing the rest of today besides having to walk to a few places and me and Mom just relaxed a lot. At lunch we had a make your own sandwich deal and fruit and other things. What I loved was they have oatmeal raisin cookies. I don't know why but I LOVE oatmeal raisin cookies. We watched a video about the first day of orientation and of what we did. They had quite a few funny moments. Apparently in a computer room they were panning and then a "Wait..was that facebook?" on the black screen and it rewinds and you see a facebook screen on a computer. They had a few more moments of rewinding also. Of the color groups, I liked purple's the best. /BIAS

When I finally got to fill in my registration, Mom couldn't come in with me, but it was fine. I got help from adults and fellow students. However I was having problems with my scheduling which I found out later was because music classes are different. They're a bit longer than other classes and have strange times and such. So I ended up having to change my University 101 to a class from 6-7:20 on Tuesday. I'll only have it for one semester, but it's still annoying. I'll probably just bring my laptop on those days for sure and hang out and chill. Maybe work out in the gym or whatever so that I wont have to drive home and back. After registering we ordered all the books I would be needing. It costed close to $560. I felt bad having Mom pay for it, but she is paying for my college. I'll just have to pay her back someday.

We left after that and I just relaxed and listened to my ipod on the way home. My legs are really sore and it hurts getting up and walking around. I also went out and bought two new games. I was thinking about buying that Shin megami Tensei: Devil Survivor for the DS and was thinking of getting another game, but I couldn't find it. I saw a demo version of Rythym Heaven and played it and it was fun so i also bought that. I've been playing that now.

That's it. I already made you read another one of those long posts that takes me a few hours to type. I suck at essays. D:

Orientation Coming Up

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:28:35 GMT

So my birthday was on Thursday and I turned 18! Of course I don't feel the same, but people might look at me a bit differently now? Dunno.

Orientation is Monday and Tuesday. I'm nervous about the test, but Mom said not to worry. As long as I do my best and the outcome will be fine. She says she'll pay for everything and everything is fine, so I'll trust her. So it's a mixed feeling all because of that test. if it wasn't for that, I would be totally excited about going.

I started getting into Umineko No Naku Koro Ni; which is from 07th Expansion, the people who did Higurashi. I'm thinking about buying the game that has episodes 1-4 and then using the translation pack on it. The anime has started and the opening is AMAZING. I love the song.

I'm also getting my wisdom teeth taken out this month. Thursday I get two of them taken out and then the other two closer to the end of the month. I wish they could all be taken out at once, but whatever. I actually have my bottom left wisdom tooth starting to show up out of the skin and it hurts if I touch it. I'll probably have my left side of my mouth taken out first.

Juu, one of my best online friends, is going through a hard time right now and is taking a break for the time being from msn and such. She's been going through some tough times the past few months and it's bothering me. I want things to go her way for once and things to be good, you know? She said not to worry though, so I'll trust her and hope things go well.

I Hate My Life

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:50:13 GMT

I am so fucking pissed right now. At orientation I have to take a math test. I didn't think I was going to have to take anymore tests and they throw this shit at me. I don't wanna take anymore tests. I'm already stressed out as it is. This sucks so much.

I'm seriously tired of the dumbest stuff happening to me lately. It's pissing me off so easy. I wanna scream. FML.

Update

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 03:40:57 GMT

I saw the My Sister's Keeper movie today! It was really good! I just wish they stuck with the book and had Jesse the same as he was in the book and added Julia(I think her name was) and kept the ending. I need to go buy the book and re-read it. I also need to buy '19 Minutes', another of Jodi Picoult's books, and finish it. I stopped around 100 pages in and didn't finish cause of school.

So I got into True Blood, that HBO series about vampires. It's really good. I just need to see the second season 1-3 episodes together now. I'm waiting on Sunday.

We're not doing much on Saturday, the real big thing is Sunday. We're having the July birthday gathering at out house, I believe, and have dinner and give out out birthday money. Yay for money~

Tomorrow I am taking my accuplacer for TWU. I have to take a reading and writing one, the ones where you just read and answer the questions and then the other that I edit the underline sentences. Mom and Dad are gonna drive with me and I'm gonna use my gps and get a feel for it. I'm nervous and hope I do well.

Wish me luck!

OH HELL YES

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:07:50 GMT

The other night we had a storm in Texas. Really big thunder and lightning and our power went on and off a few times that evening. I couldn't sleep and put some new batteries in my flashlight and looked at the signatures in my yearbook that I hadn't looked over all of still. It was actually kinda funny, just about every single one said about how I'm such a sweet girl and that I have such a beautiful voice. It makes me feel better about myself, even though quite a few are people I'm not that close to. It felt kinda repetitive after awhile, though. But it was still nice. That same time Ian was across the street raiding on WOW with friends when he comes into the house and say LOOK OUTSIDE THE TREE and we're all confused until we go outside and the tree in our front yard is collapsed on the ground. It was a huge tree and sad to see it fallen. Hardly any of it was left standing. The power was out by the time I was back inside and couldn't sleep cause the fan wasn't on.

So I got a digital camera and a gps yesterday. I did it for the fact that I had so much money from graduation and I needed a gps so I wont get lost, lol. The camera I have been wanting to get one and take pictures and do video adventures and whatnot. I tooka few videos and then took a few pictures of the tree. I still need to open up the gps and learn how to use everything, though...

Today, we had the guys who trimmed our trees come and cut down the tree that fell from the strong wind the other night from that storm. Watching them cut it apart was pretty sad, since that tree had been there when we moved there before me and Ian were born. It was also really weird how such a huge tree fell from wind. A section of the fence in the backyard also fell, but a little tree we have been growing in the backyard didn't break at all. It's puny! But it was sad cause now the tree is a very low to the ground stump. I took a picture of that, too.

My mom just gave me a letter awhile ago. I thought it would be some more graduation money. It was a letter from TWU. I was like OH GOD. I failed at opening the envelope. I can never do that. Ian didn't help commenting at my fail envelope opening, too. Not helping, Ian. I opened it and started pulling out the letter and some confetti came out of it. My mom gave me a :D face and went to go dump out the confetti from the letter. She asked me if I wanted to read it and I said YES. I was accepted. I was so happyyyyyyyy. But because I didn't make the requirement of the ACT, I'm going to be on a provisional basis for the fall. I'll have to take a certain one credit class for transition to TWU, only 4 classes to take and have to see a counselour 3 times a semester to check my grades. I must maintain atleast a C average. It will be removed if I maintain all those requirements. Bah I'm so excited and nervous! I'm gonna have to take an accuplacer test and go to an orientation thing in July. Wish me luck on my studying!

Quiz Time

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:15:21 GMT

Snagged it from juujuu119

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never really clicked, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you re-post this so I can fill it out for you?

Graduation

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:07:20 GMT

So I had my graduation yesterday. I don't feel any different than before. I'm guessing it wont hit me until I start college. Which I STILL haven't received a yes or no from TWU. WTF DUDE I NEED TO KNOW SO I KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT. It's pissing me off.

But I had fun at the parties I went to afterwards. I'm going to another one today at 4. A friend I've known since 8th grade that likes anime. She was in my history class and hasn't been in a class of mine since then, but we still hung out and was able to talk during school, except this year I didn't see her as much. But she invited me to her graduation party so I was happy!

I'm really thankful to all my family and friends, even though I didn't see a lot of my family in the stadium cause they weren't all sitting together. I got a lot of money from them, too! I'm in the money again and soon birthday money is coming soon also. So I don't mind the money I spent at A-kon. 8D

A-Kon and S&E!

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:44:10 GMT

Okay so let's start on Friday.

My last day of school. It was kinda sad knowing I wasn't gonna be going back there for school. I had lunch with chamber singers, who usually eat in the choir room. In government, we finished Remember The Titans. God I love that movie. Best sports movie EVER. Don't try to convince me otherwise. Then we played catchphrase, which is pretty fun. Then the bell for passing period to 5th period rang and I left for my car.

Right after school I go home and wait for mom to take me to the Sheraton Hotel. We get there and I have to do the whole registration thing. I'm looking for Tsu all around. I then see someone who looks like Tsu a bit and wonder if it really is her. Then she starts running towards me and I'm all like YAY IT IS HER and she glomps me. So I finish my registration and we go to hang out and walk around and whatnot. We walked around and everytime I saw cosplay from one of my favorite shows, I was like OMG TSU TAKE A PICTURE OF SO AND SO and I would run after them to stop them for a picture for Tsu to take. I really need to get a camera. We also saw something called Happi Paper. It was apparently this hug piece of toilet paper that had a cute face on it that went BEKYOOT! It was so freaking cute for toilet paper fvsdhbgbsavjkc. I got a few cards so I'm gonna check the website. It's actually made by some lady in Houston, Texas. Anyway it was a lot of fun hanging out with Tsu. But then I had to go home cause she was feeling a bit sick and tired. So I told her to go to her apartment and sleep while I wait for mom and dad to come pick me up. So many people smoking outside it was nasty. So I stayed inside until I got the call from mom. Went straight to bed cause I had to wake up at 3:45 the next morning.

So the best thing about Solo & Ensemble was talking to people. When I performed, I tried to perform emotionally and I messed up at a few parts. She told me how it is a very hard song. But what got me was, the lady who judged me told me about not to close my eyes while singing to form a connection with who you are singing to. She also told me about the be sure my posture is correct while singing. When I got out of the room and Mrs. Ayres was saying I was good and such. I just felt bad, cause I really wanted that 1. I started crying cause I felt so bad cause I wanted to do really good, but I always freak out when I sing. Nerves just get to me. I was calmed down by Sarah and we just played Apples to Apples until 4. Thing was, I found out a nice girl at our school got a 1. She's a sophomore. It freaked me out. I felt so jealous and envious of her. A sophomore getting a 1 when seniors got 2 and 3's? I just really hated it and it made me feel depressed. On the bus she was calling out all the people who made 1's and when I didn't hear mine I started tearing up. It just made me feel horrible. I always wanted to make mom and dad really proud of me. But I calmed down and I decided to go to Chick-Fil-A. I got a chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and a limited time only peach milkshake. HOLY GOD OF MIGHTY HEAVEN IT WAS SO GOOD. I remember when Sonic had a peach shake. Gahhhhhh they took it away from me. That shit is so good. <33333 The bus ride home was a lot of fun and made me laugh a lot. J-Flo is awesome.

Then Sunday I got up around 7:50 to shower and get ready to go back to Dallas for the last day of A-Kon. Walked around and got a fan-made Soul Eater hat. I-I had to get it. And I did. <3 I'm wearing it around the house for so long. Soul Eater Pride~ I got like all SE stuff and then these internet smileys. I'll take pictures of the buttons I bought. They are all over my badge. Anyway, Chris, Tsu's boyfriend, was sick so he couldn't come to A-Kon. So we got on the tram to go visit him. We got to Garland in 30 minutes and him and his mom was there to take us to his house. He has so many video game figurines, mainly Final Fantasy. We talked a lot and then around 4:40 I left with Tsu for the tram to take us back to Pearl Street, the street Sheraton Hotel is on.I was nervous to ride alone so I asked her to come and she agreed. I felt selfish cause I was nervous and I asked her to come with me even though she wanted to be with Chris. So when we got there I said my goodbyes to Tsu and hugged her. I walked back to the hotel for a short distance as the convention was still going on. I looked around and finally bought a Maka print I was eyeing. I also got pocky and ramune for $1 each cause they were having to sell them all. I went over to buy some ramune when I saw a guy who was selling the ramune had the same SE hat as me, so I went up and said "I love your hat!" and he was all "We're twins!" and we were talking about how he saw my print and how he likes them and said how he also really like BS and Kid and I showed him my buttons. I bought a bottle and then he said "Shinigami Chop!" as a parting. I was very entertained. I drank my ramune and one of the packets of a box of pocky while watching people fighting in the arena. Dad picked me up and I just chatted on the internet the rest of the night talking about my weekend.

Today I was planning on going to school for A Day finals just to say goodbye and get people to sign my yearbook, but I was tired and decided not to go. Instead, me and Erin went to go see 'Up'. It was reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally goooood. One of my favorite Pixar movies to date.

Now I am of to play RFF because of being too busy to play it this week!

Busy Weeks

Thu, 28 May 2009 03:16:27 GMT

So Graduation is coming up on June 6th. I have two more days of school because I'm exempt from all my classes and don't have to go in for finals week next week. A-kon is Friday - Sunday, but I'll only go half on friday and then sunday cause of Solo & Ensemble. I can't wait to see Tsu and Bushi~ It'll be a lot of fun. <33

Then next Tuesday, seniors in choir are going over to mama Mac's house for a party. I can't remember if she said she has a pool or not. That would actually be kinda fun. Hanging out with choir friends. As long as I don't lose anything and blow a fuse. XD

Then the next big thing is Thursday I believe. Going to Great Wolf Lodge again. Though it'll be my first time going there since I got lost on my way last time. I'm gonna get a ride with Ellen for sure. That will be Chamber Singers last big thing I think, though we did sing at Senior Awards last night. National Anthem anyway. I got a certificate thing for getting that scholarship. (I still need to pick up that sometime and also my choir dirty clothes bag!)

Then Saturday is graduation. I'll be singing with mixed choir and then when I walk across the stage, the people in choir are supposed to stop their feet real loud for the senior choir members when they walk. I hope they do that. XD

I'm having lunch with my family and celebrate and such. I'm going to Ellen's graduation party for dinner that day also. Then going to my friend Liza's house the next day. She's one of my anime friends I haven't seen in awhile cause of not being in the same classes. Her parents think anime and manga is bad so she has to sneak stuff into her house. Oh geez, I'm glad my parents aren't like that.

I also need to get people to sign my yearbook these next few days too. Have all the people I want to sign it, sing it and then all the other aquaintances.

See ya later for now, f-list~

My Last Choir Concert

Wed, 20 May 2009 03:30:46 GMT

So yesterday I had to turn in a scholarship application to Mama Mac, because I'm going into a profession in music. There was about $2000 that they were giving out to all the people doing music, so we wouldn't be getting a lot each.

We're gonna be starting a project in English and taking a test over 'Brave New World' on Friday. Those are two opportunities are going to bring my grade up, especially the project. I'm gonna study that test a million damn times. I'M GOING TO AT LEAST GET A 75 FOR THE NINE WEEKS. That's my goal, anyway. Either way, I just wanna pass so my overall average isn't that bad.

Chamber singers ended up singing at the Jule awards last night. It was good, could have been better.

But what I was really thinking about was going to be tonight's choir concert. It would be y last one in my high school life. In college, choir concerts are really short and hardly anyone goes. It's like a very secluded thing. But in high school concerts. Everyone' parents are there, maybe even relatives, the audience is full. Not to mention you sing for the final time with everyone who you've been with for so long. It's a really sad thing to know it's going away.

When our mixed girl sang the songs we sang for UIL and we got to Psalm 23. The very end I started tearing up again. I got emotional a bit, because it's a beautiful song and we did very good on it. And a bit after they were saying all these awards to choir students for what they've accomplished over the year, like All-State, ACDA, S&E things, etc. They got to the scholarship part and called out each of our and Mama called out mine last and said that I was going into music therapy. I got the applause because I was last, but she went on to explain about how people have a connection with music and how it's where you help people unlock memories and work with people. All of us ended up getting $300 scholarships each. I was happy to get anything at all, though.

Then later on when mixed finally sang and we did all our giving the choir teachers and our pianist, Mrs. Ayres, flowers and cards. The seniors got down to the front of the stage and sang 'The Lord Bless You And Keep You', which was the song we auditioned for and sang a whole lot last year for special events. When it was over, a lot of seniors were in tears, crying and hugging Mama and Mrs. Randall, seniors hugging and crying with each other. It hit me then when I saw people crying and I started crying, too. It was just a really sad feeling. I hugged a few people and went and cried to mom for a bit before going to collect money for a small little fundraiser. Jason's mom(Jason is also a senior and a very talented singer) talked to me after the concert saying she's really happy what I'm doing because she works with disabled people. She going to send me a song sometime soon that she really likes. She was really nice and complimented me and was happy about my career choice.

I'm really gonna miss choir, Mama and Mrs. Randall, Mrs. Ayres, my friends, everyone. This whole graduation thing doesn't feel real. Like "this is actually happening?" to have to be going through it finally after thinking about it all year,it just kinda hit me these past few days. I'm really nervous about what will be to come next.

Choir Trip

Tue, 19 May 2009 03:10:11 GMT

So I got back last night around 10. It was a really busy trip and hectic as hell. Story time, kids!

So it started after school on Friday. I saw Ellen, J-Flo & Sylvia and we were on the same bus together, so during the whole weekend we hung out a lot together. We ended up eating at an italian kinda food joint for dinner about 2 hours into the ride to the hotel. I had to get a slice of pizza because I can't eat garlic without getting sick. When we got back on the bus we watched 'The Holiday'. I thought it was really good. But a little over halfway through the movie, my stomach started to get sick. I went to the bathroom just in case I threw up. My mouth was salivating, but I never threw up.I think it's because of really long car rides at a time, considering it took about 5 hours total just to get there, even though we stopped for that one time for dinner. We got to the hotel around 10 that night and checked into out rooms. I liked the people I roomed with. I didn't know one of the girls before the trip but we got along really well. I was really tired and we ended up going to bed soon after we got settled in around 11:30-ish. I took my pills and went to bed to get some sleep.

We had to wake up around 4 the next morning. We all showered and we went down for breakfast around 5:30. They had no cereal. IS THE HILTON TOO GOOD FOR CEREAL?! Seriously. Anyway, we had to pack our dresses and such to get ready to leave for the college we were having the contest at. Our show choir was the first thing of the day and they did awesome. We were later in the day and we performed around 11. We did awesome! We could have done better on our last song, but we just got it a few weeks ago. The guy who got on the stage to critique us really thought we were fantastic and kept complementing us and Mama Mac about her musicality. He gave us a few trips and we went outside to take a group picture. We then got changed(I was almost late to the bus because a few people didn't even dress out) and went back to the hotel so people could get their wallets and such to prepare for Fiesta Texas, Six Flags.

When me and my roommates left the hotel room and looked out the window, the clouds in the sky had gotten even darker from moments ago in the bus. We walked out to the bus and it started to lightly drizzle. We couldn't believe it. It started getting harder as we left to go get lunch before we left for Six Flags. We had to run into Whataburger to get away from the rain. I had chicken strips and gravy. Oh gosh I love chicken and gravy dcahklhxn klvjzz. But when we got out the rain didn't stop. We drove to Six Flags and saw people leaving. At Six Flags, when the rain stops, they have to close the rides for an hour before starting them up again. We decided to not go in. It was a bummer, but it wasn't too bad. The tickets are available til around November, so we're thinking of going back sometime before then. We ended up going back to the hotel and people had the option to hang out by the pool or go to their hotel rooms before leaving for the mall a few hours later. Me and my roommates chose to nap in our room. Around 5 pm, we went down to a room in the lobby to hear the results of the contest(originally they were going to be held at Six Flags around 7). With all the choirs we took, the total amount of trophies we could have gotten was 9. We ended up getting 8 of those. We got 4 superior(the best rating for your performance), 3 outstanding(meaning of each type of group, you were the best) and my mixed choir one best overall. We were really happy and proud of ourselves.

We left for the mall and I ended up hanging out with Ellen, J-Flo and Sylvia. We joined up with Kim, Amber, Parker and Zack, they're all in my choir and I've known them since 8th grade. We walked all around and had a lot of fun browsing through shops. Zack was being his silly self and joked around a lot and talked to strangers. He's a really silly guy, so I find it fun to be around him cause I like to laugh a lot. Getting to go in a big group like that was a lot of fun. We got back to the hotel and it was around 10 so I go through my purse to get my pills out and take them. It took me a while and until I looked in my purse and the pill case wasn't in there. I checked about 3 more times. I was getting frantic and called mom and talked to her. She said not to worry and told me there was nothing we could do but look for it. It's not like I don't have pills at home and I could get another pill case. I felt like crying, though. I felt dumb for leaving the pill case in my purse of all places. I started thinking it fell out of my purse when we were running in to Whataburger from the rain. Ellen picked up money that felt out of my purse, so my pills might have fallen out there or any other time I was running around. I got off the phone mad. I went to the bathroom to change into my sleep clothes and had some tears welling up. After I was about to leave the bathroom, my roommates said they were going out to get something. I was left in the room for about 2-3 minutes and went to my purse and poured it out onto the floor and started fumbling through everything in it and was tearing up. I was talking to myself and telling myself why I was so stupid to lose the pills. I didn't find them in my purse as I checked over a million times.

I was in my bed after I checked my purse and I heard my friends coming back and wiped my eyes and tried to be calm. They entered and were all happy and going on with their conversation. I tried laughing a bit at the things they were saying. Then Ashley got a bit concerned and asked if there was something wrong, because while I was on the phone with mom they overheard a bit of my conversation. I don't blame them, I was in the same room as them talking. But when they asked me what was wrong and I tried to speak and tell them what all happened, I started crying. I can never say what I want to say without crying when I get emotional like that. I told them how I lost my pills and they were worried and said they'd go look in the hotel and see if I dropped it somewhere. They asked me what the case looked like and I described it to them. They told me to check around the room and they left to go get help and try to find Mama and get people to help out. I cried a bit but looked around the room, thinking I was ridiculous. They came back into the room and I heard Ellen saying she needed to wash her hands cause she was searching in a couch. I felt kinda happy that they were really concerned and were looking really hard. It made me feel dumb for even saying that I needed my pills. But I calmed down a bit and we looked around the room and talked a bit while we did so. I was able to laugh a bit.

A few minutes later, mama came in the room with Mrs. Randall. Since Ellen and the Ashley's were looking for her, she was found and came to my room. But when she walked in I felt really sad, because I knew she was gonna ask what was going on and that I would have to explain all this stuff and that I knew I was gonna start crying. I did and she came over to me and we started talking. They suggested checking the bus and they went to go find the bus driver so they could check the bus. They left to go look while me and Mama were left alone to talk. I ended up telling her all about that I need those pills to sleep and about me having OCD and a picking problem and that's why I have to take those pills every night. While I was telling her stuff, she was surprised to know I had OCD, too. I think I remember knowing that she had OCD and little ticks also. We started freely talking about silly things we do. I was smiling and such. I got to talk a lot about myself that she didn't know about. Like when she asked if I had siblings and I said I had an older sister and twin brother, she had no idea about me and Ian being a twin. Knowing me for about 3 years and not knowing a lot about me. It couldn't be helped, though. I don't open up much and I'm looked at the quiet, sweet girl in choir. I told her how I don't feel like I'm really 'in the crowd' of people in choir and that i feel like I'm kinda alone in there. She started saying how a lot of people have been feeling that way lately. people go to mama to talk about personal stuff and people have been feeling not 'in the crowd' also. But she mentioned how, when she was worried about me, because people were worried about me when they heard I lost something and was really sad. I think word got around or something to people because Ellen and the Ashley's were looking for my pills and they explained what was going on to people. Mama even said how she found out because Zack had texted her that she should go see me. I felt like crying again and I think I did. I felt like I was kinda in the choir crowd after all. People are worried, but I never know it. I'm always worried about what people think about me, but I never know how people truly do view me. Mama was saying how I brighten people's days and that I'm really sweet. She said that me being going into music therapy was a really good idea because I can relate to people. I told her how I feel I want to help people, because I feel useless if I don't. She kinda laughed and told me I was funny. She asked me if it was okay for me to not have the pills and I told her I think I was more worried about the fat that I lost it, not the fact I needed them to sleep. She was glad to know I wasn't feeling bad anymore. We talked for awhile and then she left to go see if they could find my pills. I felt a lot better. I felt like I was done crying and started looking around the room again, happily.

When they got back into the room and said they couldn't find it. I told them it was okay. We started talking about our families and such. I got to know them more and had a lot of fun. We ended up talking for about an hour before going to sleep. It took me awhile, but I was able to fall asleep. The next morning we had breakfast around 8. We went back to our rooms after breakfast and packed all of our luggage onto the bus, with our swimsuits on, and headed for Schlitterbahn. Mama and Mrs. Randall were asking me how i was when they saw me and I told them I was fine. I was glad they were worried about me. I felt kinda special for the time being. At Schlitterbahn, the water was really cold at first but I adjusted after dunking my head under water. Most of the day we spent in one of the three sections. I didn't get to go to one of the areas. It had the real lazy river in it, but I ended up not worrying about it and was in the new 'lazy river' in the new section a lot of the time. It was like the lazy river except it wasn't fully connected. Later on during the day, Zack and a few of his friends were trying to walk against the current in the lazy river. It was really funny and they got in trouble with a lifeguard. I only got a bit sunburned, and it's going away pretty fast. We got on the bus around 4:30 and left for dinner. I had McAllister's for dinner and wasn't very hungry and had their mac n' cheese. it was so good. It was really cheap too since it was on the kid's menu, so I ended up getting another one to go. We watched '50 First Dates' on the way home and when we were on thew bus, my stomach got sick again. I went to the bathroom but the same thing happened like on Friday. I didn't throw up so I was happy, just riding on that bus for so long really upset my stomach. When I got home, I unpacked and took care of my things. Walked into mom and dad's room to give her a hug. It was hard to give her a hug because Murphey and layla saw me and started licking me like crazy. I was happy they were glad to see me. Even Summer was glad to see me. She kept meowing and wanting me to pet her, it was cute. I went to bed after putting everything away.

That's all for the trip. I don't feel like typing anymore tonight, this took too long. I 'll post about things that happened today and tomorrow, well, on tomorrow's post. Have a good night, guys. :)

Wow Layla....

Thu, 14 May 2009 20:31:54 GMT

So yeaaaaaaaaaaah. Before I start with how excited I am about the trip and other things, I came home to the weirdest thing. Layla's head was stuck in an empty jar of peanut butter. The dogs eat anything we give them and always want more. It was in the recycling bin we keep by the front door before we dump it into the cart. I was scared she was going to suffocate. I really wanna know how long she was like that before we got home. Oh geez Layla, you're special.

Anyway, The concert the other night was good, I thought I did horrible going over all the little things I messed up on and felt really bad. People kept complimenting me though and my mom and dad said I was really good, they just thought something was wrong cause I make faces when I sing bad. I just put myself down about things I do, though.

I have piano at 4:30 today because I'll be gone on the trip by tomorrow. I'm rooming with Ellen, Ashly and Ashley. I'm good friends with Ellen and I know Ashly, but I don't know the other Ashley. She's in varsity treble, but Ashly says she's nice and I don't mind. I'm gonna have to so much fun on the trip. Gotta make sure I'm still good with the swimsuit, though! If not I might have to go out and buy another one, but I'll be wearing a t-shirt over it anyway so I don't think it matters. The dodgeball tournament is at school tomorrow during 5th period, also. So I'm gonna watch it and then go to the choir room to prepare for the long trip. I won't be back until like 11 pm on Sunday. I'm gonna be so tired Monday morning, having to go to school.

HOLY CRAP

Tue, 12 May 2009 21:39:43 GMT

So yeah, I never posted anything about prom on LJ yet. I had a whole lot of fun. Danced with friends and seeing friends and taking pictures was fun. Too bad I don't have a camera. I'm totally getting one with graduation/birthday money coming up! I was also happy about other things there.

I need to get my paid account again. I can only use 15 of my 32. ://////

Broadway Recital is tonight at 6:30 and I don't feel as nervous as I was a few days ago. My voice is really good today and I've kept away of milk for the day. Wish me luck anyway, though~

The choir trip is Friday. I won't be back until like around 11-ish on Sunday. I'll be away from the computer for so long and will have so much LJ to check on. DDDDDDDDDDDD: I'll be sure to have a really good time, though. <3

And to finish off this LJ, THE SE CH 61 SUMMARY IS OUT and all I have to say is: HOLY SHIT BJKSIRFVHUSJFKDKSJSKLJNLS? I was so shocked and fangirling at the chapter summary like crazy. I can't wait to see the raw and for it to be scanlated. So awesome. *___*

Prom Night

Sat, 09 May 2009 19:19:19 GMT

So I had a really interesting conversation with Erin last night. She was talking about how she hates her periods and that she would rather throw up blood on one time of each month instead of having her period.

Me: That's disgusting.
Erin: And bleeding out your butt isn't?
Me: I'm used to it, so it's not as bad.
Erin: Well what if that was the normal way to have your period?
Me: Then I would probably think it was normal, but in this case, that's just weird.
Erin: Though it would be hilarious once a month to be doing something normal and then all of a sudden "BLARGHHHH *bloods spews out your mouth* Oh I just had my period"
Me: You disgust me.

Sorry if that was gross, but I found it amusing.

Anyway, prom is tonight and I'm gonna be getting my mom to straighten my hair for me before going to Rochelle's house. We're going to Olive Garden after we take pictures and such then going to the Gaylord Texan for prom. I'm really excited about it. Will post about it either really late tonight or tomorrow.

Though I am worried about Broadway Recital that is coming up on Tuesday. It was moved back because of Swine Flu (which me and my friend J-Flo have a thing where we go "Swine '09!" to each other). Gah why am i always nervous about these things STILL? Oh well, it'll happen and who cares if I suck at it.

School Is Weird

Sat, 02 May 2009 00:38:34 GMT

Soooooo you know how I said that guy killed another guy? Apparently the guy threatened the school and said he was gonna hurt people. I didn't know of this until 3rd period. I saw cops when I was walking into the building and heard there was a metal detector in the courtyard entrance. They wouldn't let kids venture in the hall during class periods and only during passing periods. Because of the threat, we did nothing all day. Parents were calling ther kids out all day and there weren't many people in my next two classes. It was insane.

So the next thing thats up since the broadway recital was postponed, I have prom next Saturday. I'm pretty excited. I'm gonna drive a few friends and we're going to Olive Garden and then to the hotel it's being held at. I can't wait~

WTF Swine Flu

Fri, 01 May 2009 00:28:50 GMT

SO this whole swine flu thing is insane. People are getting sick and school districts are being closed, except Keller. Cause they're assholes. Not to mention a guy at my school killed another guy the other day. Like wtf Central.

Went to the mall with Shaunte and Rochelle for things for prom. I got eyeliner, earrings and a red purse. They'll go with my dress and such.

Tomorrow we're having the wood flooring being set in for the carpet because of the whole water heater event. It's gonna be so weird coming homeand having wood in the living room insteadof carpet. Layla and Murphey will have a hard time when playing is my guess, cause of the slipping on the floors when running fast. But we'll find out how it goes.

The Broadway recital was postponed too. I'M SO HAPPY. I have more time to prepare. :D

FML MAX

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:10:03 GMT

You know that one English TPCASTT paper I was suuuuuuuuper worried about?

Yeah, I failed it.

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WHAT THE FUCK I WANNA SCREAM AND BEAT SOMETHING UP THIS IS THE PITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO TO BRING THAT UP? AND WHY DO I HAVE SUCH BAD LUCK LATELY? I'VE HAD TO USE THIS ICON SO MANY TIMES LATELY.

I'm so ticked off right now I wanna cry. Gah this fails. I don't care if I sound crazy in caps, I'm really upset. I really have to bring up my grade with a test coming up that we're doing over a book. With the TPCASTT being the only thing in for the test section of my grade, it brought my average down from 88 to a 69. Like what the hell? I'm so nervous this is killing me. I just found out when my mom called me back to her laptop and saw the grade on gradespeed. I worked so hard on that and was actually pretty happy about it. I don't even have her until Thursday cause of TAKS week and schedule being all screwed up.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffffffff.

Choir Banquet

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:46:22 GMT

So I had a really fun time. Made me forget all about the whole ACT score thing, until I started leaving. XD I mean, there are two options I have now. One, if I'm not accepted, I can go to TCC for about a year and then transfer over. Two, I can be accepted and put on a probation thing where they'll watch me and I have to at least get a C average and such. So I could still be accepted, just be watched and checked up on. I'm not worrying too much about it now.

Anyway so Shaunte came over cause she was going to straighten my hair and do my makeup, but we ended up not having enough time to straighten my hair and we just put mascara and eye liner on. You can't put either on me unless I do it myself. I do that thing where you blink a million times and keep pulling away. I'm scared I'm gonna get poked in the eye. And I just kept making weird noises. So I put it on myself and just let my hair down.

Anyway so my mom took us and we went to pick up Rochelle and then headed to the Trophy Club Country Club place for the banquet. I was complimented on my dress and such. So I was happy~ We had the same thing to eat for dinner that we had last year. I was just like LOL. I found it funny, to be honest.

I got my letter jacket, too! It doesn't have my name on the back like it should, but we're gonna get it fixed. Either that or I got the wrong jacket. So we'll figure it out.

So when they asked the seniors to go up so they could do the whole wills and senior gifts. The senior gifts work where the choir director gives you a present that either involves an inside joke or your character and such. Then you do a will, where you pass on something to lower classmen. So when I was called up, Mrs. Randall said mine instead and she was saying how in that one book, "If you give a mouse a cookie" kid's book. That when she thought of me, she thought of the mouse in that book. So I got the book. It's something silly like that. And when they asked if I had a will, I said yeah. I wanted to do a funny one. So I thought of something last night. It was "I will my soft spoken-ness to Kaitlyn Johnson." Kaitlyn is a kinda loud person, but she's funny. She wasn't there to hear it, but she'll find out. Everyone was laughing probably because they know she's loud and were surprised I even said it. People were like "You're awesome, Caitlin!" I was just smiling the whole time.

There was a senior slideshow, but I forgot to send in what I was planning on going to and such. So I wish I said TWU. My own fault for forgetting. Then there was the dance and it was a lot of fun, just got sweaty and such and the dress being long didn't help. But I had a lot of fun. So I'm glad it was a really fun banquet again this year.

Sorry I can't get on msn again, Tsu & Bolt. I'm tireeeeeeeeeeeeeeed~ D: